Sad Day!!!!

Today was the day that we put Rani's ashes into the ground...our final good bye...

We went down to Lilydale at4.45pm and picked up rani's ashes from the office then met mum, Dad, my 2 sisters and brother at Rani's plaque.

The people at llydale had lready dug a hole in front of her plaque, so we said our goodbyes and Teagan placed rani into the hole and we all placed some dirt in and then put the grass back on top. Then early in the day Mum had got some roses and gave us two each to place in the vases. I also placed a buddah above her plaque to watch over her.

It was kind of sad, but to me she lives on in my heart and not at Lilydale, if that make sense.

Then we all went out to dinner and some drinks to celebrate Mum's birthday as we were at Teagan's Dancing Concert on the night of her birthday.

12 hours later it is over

Well it is all over so quickly, considering how stressful the build up to christmas is...lol

The kiddies actually slept in this year and I was woken by an SMS from TD...Josh and Teagan awoke at 7.30am, well I actually woke Teagan and they came downstairs to see what Santa had bought them...once again spoilt....then of course back upstairs for more presents from Nana and Grandpa, Aunties Nelle and Becca and Uncle Stevie....I think we need another house to house all the toys.

Christmas lunch and dinner was at Mum and Dads this year...nice as we didn't have to drive anywhere. first Mums side of the family for lunch (32 people) and then Dads side for Dinner (12 people) and by 8.30 pm everyone had left and Christmas was over for another year.

Of course we ate way to much and have been eating chicken and ham for breakfast, lunch and tea....lol....

Hope everyone else had a lovely christmas...thanks for the christmas SMS's :)

My Baby is 10

HAPPY BiRTHDAY JOSHUA

My little boy is so excited to make it to double digits today...lol...the big 1-0

He has been very spoilt today and with Santa tomorrow I am sure will have more than enough to keep him entertained over the School Holidays!

We did the trip to McDonalds for dinner and came home for cake and then finished setting up for Christmas Lunch and Dinner and watched some Carol and now the kiddies are tucked up in bed awaiting Santas arrival.

Mum has all her kids and Grandkiddies under the one roof tonight, with my sister home from London, us living here, my brother decided to stay the night as well, so we will all be together Christmas morning.

once again everyone have a Lovely Christmas.

I think!!!!

I am finally organised...lol

I thought having the kiddies finishing School on Thursday would make getting all my Christmas shopping easy and quick...lol...but with a trip with John last night to Know at midnight (for the 24 hour trading) I picked up the last couple of things needed for Christmas Day and those we are not seeing until after Christmas I will get later.

We got caught in the rain yesterday...but we didn't mind, it really poured down last night but we need it...so it doesn't look like it will be a very warm Christmas Day, but if the rain helps with the areas where all the fires are, we don't mind the rain.

Well I would like to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS and Fabulous NEW YEAR and thank everyone for their support this year - it has been truly appreciated....I am not asking for a better 2007 as i think I cursed myself by saying that 2006 was going to be my year - but i am sure 2007 can't be any worse than this year...lol
I can't believe the tomorrow my little boy will be double digits - the big 10 - he is so excited reminding everyone that tomorrow is his birthday and making sure that everyone has bought him a present and of course a Christmas present for the following day as well...lol

So I guess that is about it...I don't think I will on much from now until the New Year...with spending time with Danielle before she goes back to London, to Rani's service and catching up with friends and family I think next week will be a big blur.

So enjoy your time with your family or whoever you spend it with at Christmas...we are having Christmas lunch and dinner here this year, so it will be great to catch up with some of my relos you only see once a year.

OK here is a pic of teagan ready to dance the other night and once again the deepest thanks to everyone for your support this year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY and she's Home!!

Firstly a huge

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to my Mum

what a way to spend your birthday at the airport picking my sister up at 2am this morning...

SO yes Danielle has landed and is home for Christmas...haven't seen a lot of her today as she is sleeping as we are off to Teagan's Dancing Concert tonight...share pics later

WHY!!!!

why do I do silly things...lol

OK so John works nights and instead of going to bed for an hour and then getting woken up at midnight I stay up until he leaves. We the other night there was nothing on TV and I stopped on a show about a family that runs a Funeral Home...well I have seen it before and think that it is funny...the bickering that is...but this nights show was a little baby that they were arranging the funeral for...i was in tears but decided that I had to be strong and watch it rather than turn the channel...even telling John not to watch...John eventually turned the channel...but I don't know why I couldn't / wouldn't change the channel. Was I finding some relief in being able to relate to the families pain...understanding what the people behind the scenes did and seeing their emotions to it all...I don't know all I know that it has put me down in the dumps even more...that today I didn't even get out of my PJ's.

Well on to other stuff...enough depressing stuff.

Being the bad mummy that I am I forgot to take photos of the kiddies on Friday when they had their 'crazy dress' day at school. they had to take a tin of food for the Salvation Army. Josh wore his t-shirt and pants backwards, had odd socks on and his jacket was inside out. Teagan on the other hand wore her clothes normally except for the odd socks and also wore a purple cape and footy hat. Some of the other kiddies at school went really crazy, with undies on the outside of their pants, fancy dress costumes...it really was a sight to see.

So I dropped Josh and Teagan off at School and went straight to the shops...9.15am and the car park was already 1/2 full. I was shopping for me...lol...I found myself a pair of earrings that are from my sister for our KK and also a pair of shoes that is for our cousins KK - as my brother was buying for me it was easier for me to just buy them andhim give me the money...then I also found a cute pair of shoes to go with the dress that I bought for Christmas Day.

So I think I am almst ready...after finally sorting out the kiddies...I just have Mum and Dad (but we are all going in for that), Johns parents, John present from the kiddies and my Nana so not to much more...I am hitting the shops first thing Monday morning and not leaving until it is all done.

I am getting very excited as Danielle arrives the wee hours of tuesday morning...i am guessing that everyone will be having nana naps during the day as that night is teagan dancing concert - plus it is also Mums birthday.

Well I guess that is about it...still no scrapping, hopefully once the madness of Christmas and Rani's Memorial is over...iwill feel a little less stressed, a little more human and in the mood to scrap.

EVERYONE give your kiddies an extra cuddle tonight and tell them how much you love them... while I was in the jewellery store I was listening to a mother telling her maybe 4 year old daughter that she could go and live somewhere else that she had had enough...the poor little thing was already in tears as she lost her mum when she came into the shop and then to be told that. i wanted to shake the woman and tell her to love her as one day she could be gone. I didn't say a thing although I did give her a look...lol...yep Chrsitmas time is a frustrating time to be at the shops but I really don't like hearing that stuff out of mothers mouths...ok off my soap box now.

Thanks everyone for their lovely comments here and on email :)

I hate Liars!!!!

Well I took the kids out shopping tonight and on the way home from the shops we go past where we used to live...you remember the place that we were asked to move out of because the owners had decided that they wanted to move back in...the place that the owners tried to sue us for renovations of the house...like painting, re-carpeting and the list goes on...the place that we were also told just before we moved out (in the worst time of our lives) that we could extend the lease until December...well we now know why as there is a huge For Sale sign out the front. I did a quick search of realestate.com.au and found the house. i guess they thought they were going to try and get money for the feature walls, the new carpet, well that was all I could see from the photos. Mind you they got nothing from us...the small bond is all they got for some petty bits and pieces and we couldn't be bothered fighting them for it...as our lives were in turmoil without more crap.

Now i understand that at times you need to sell investment properties...we have done it with our house in QlD and we told the tenant that is what we were doing...but to lie and say that they were moving in and it was such a rush for us to get out...but then to try and extend it and our friends tolds us that it has been empty since we moved out....it just makes me so angry that people come out with these petty plans rather than just speaking the truth...we wouldn't have minded moving out if they told us they were selling up...I mean the last place we rented while we were building told us they were selling and even asked us if we wanted to buy it...lol...

OK end of rant just needed to get it off my chest

Crazy Times

Is it January yet!!!

I would really like this year to be over and done with...I am not feeling in the least bit Christmassy...I am stressed out, haven't finished shopping, have a mountain of things to do and feel depressed that i don't have my baby at home with me for Christmas and of course this would be the first Christmas that she really would get some idea of what was going on.

Well I don't feel as though I am getting anything done, yet I haven't stopped. I seem to be spending most days at shopping centres looking for that something and most days coming home empty handed.

Teagans dancing concert is coming up this Tuesday so they have been having extra practises Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night...

PLUS my sister also arrives in the wee hours tuesday morning, spoke to her last night and am starting to get excited over her visit.

Also got a call yesterday from Lilydale and they have got the correct plaque in and were changing it over today, so we are going to have our Memorial Service on 28th December, as a family event when we place Rani's ashes in the ground and say our final goodbyes....so not looking forward to that.

2006 has just been a horrible year for us and I want it to end. I don't think 2007 is going to hold any miracles but it can't be anywhere near as bad as this year.

It is so hard some days and I can honestly see how couples don't make it after the death of a child. NO John and I are not seperating, we are fine....of course we have had some tense times as we are both at different stages of grieving and of course snappy and you take it out on the person closest to you...of course my punching bag would be John. It has been somewhat of a blessing being at home with Mum and Dad as they understand what we are all going through. But asI said things are fine and we can only take things day by day and try to understand our emotions and deal with our grieving inour own ways.


Well it is still so smoky outside...there is a constant haze everywhere...i should have grabbed my camera and taken a pic of the sun yesterday morning...it was glowing red....today isn't as bad, but it is alot warmer and the wind has picked up, so i hope it doesn't effect the fires...hopefully we will get the much needed rain that is forecast for tomorrow.

Well I had better get organised...have to do some little things to Teagans dancing costume, finish making presents for the teachers and work out what the kiddies are going to wear to school tomorrow for Crazy Dress Day...thankfully they still have another wek left of school so i can become a little more organised...lol

Hot and Smoky

Argh!!! another hot day today...it was 35 degrees at 11am. But it is not the heat it is the smoke. We are a fair distance from the fires, so in no danger, but the smoke is thick here and the smell is horrible. I hope everyone in the fire areas are safe.

Here is a pic from upstairs I took a couple of weeks ago towards the mountains....














here is the same view with all the smoke.













so it is hot, hot, hot and I can't be bothered doing anything, so we are going to vegge out on the couch and all watch a DVD together

OK I have also tried a new auction site to sell some of my excess scrapping supplies...check it out here

More...lol

Well 2 posts in one day...aren't you lucky...lol

well it is getting closer and closer to Chrsitmas and I am really not getting into the Christmas Spirit at all. Josh had me stressed out for birthday and Christmas presents (all sorted now) - I only have the rest of teh family to buy for...lol

Plus of course my sister is arriving on the 19th and as excited as I am about seeing her I am saddened at the reason she is coming...so I constantly have in the back of mind the memorial service we will be holding for Rani. I got a phone call for the Cremetorium yesterday to say that her placque had been placed in the Rose Garden but there was a mistake, the hadn't set aside the area for her photo - but they put the plaque in as they knew that we needed for my sister. After having coffee with a friend this morning (and more little bubba cuddles) I headed down to Lilydale and saw the plaque - it was very strange, i felt nothing...i was quite anxious driving down but reading the plaque didn't upset me. I explained it to John that i guess atm her ashes aren't there so she isn't there and also she is in my heart and if I want to talk to her I just do it, I don't need one place to visit here..if that makes sense. well the plaque to me didn't look to bad, there is a space for the photo but it hasn't been raised. while I was down at Lilydale the lady from their called home to say that her photo had arrived and whether we want it placed on this plaque or to wait until the new one arrives. I will call her tomorrow and work it out.

OK some happier news, on Sunday i got the exciting news that I had been accepted on to the OTP section of Scrapbooking 4 Less Design Team....I can't wait to start :)

I have been feeling really run down lately...tired constantly and not able to sleep. well it all caught up with me on Tuesday...i just couldn't keep my eyes open and slept all day. i was going to have a little nap and head of to the City - Federation Square and watch Teagan sing in the School Choir but didn't get up until 3pm. thankfully a friend and scrapper...lol...went and took photos of Teagan while she was taking pics of her daughter.

also after doing all the pages for the school's album I finally did a LO for me. this is my challenge LO for 123 Challenge. you had to use B&W photo/s, starts and ribbon and i am really happy with how it turned out.

They are Done!!!!

I have finished my LO's for the kiddies school. Every year some of the mothers do pages for an album for that years School Production. this years play was Aladdin.

Here are my LO's
Not the most exciting LO's but with the dark backgrounds i just wanted to make the photos stand out.

A New Day

Well yesterday I think I should have just stayed in bed...lol

Firstly i promised the kiddies that when they got home from school we would put up the Christmas Tree. well as some of you know we are living with Mum and Dad at the moment and most of our stuff is under the house in storage.

Well after dropping the kiddies at school I came home and headed under the house. From the door i could see the box for the Christmas Tree as I had asked John to keep it near the front...so i grabbed that out...but no sight of the decorations...as life was kind of hell when we were told we had to move the removalist packed everything up for us...so i have no idea where most of my stuff is.....so after looking as much as i could I have to assume that they have put my box of decorations into a larger box.

No problem i think to myself as I wanted new decorations with a colour theme...so i guess that would be starting this year and when we find the box of decorations I will take out the important decorations and throw out the rest. So off to the shops I go and I just bought a little bit of tinsel and some baubles.

When we got home it was almost time to get the kiddies from school so i thought I would set the tree up on the ground with the branches in the order that they get put on the tree. WELL the box is half empty and I only have a couple of the branches in the box...all we canassume is that because the box was overflowing rather than squash the branches, the removalist have put the rest of the branches into another box...ARGH!!!...so it is back to the shops today to buy a new Christmas Tree....just what I needed.

Couple that with a son (who is turning 10 Xmas Eve) and still has no idea what he wants for his birthday or Christmas...i am getting mighty stressed out...lol

Although on Thursday night my family took me out for my belated Birthday Dinner to our favourite Chinese Restaurant - we have been going there since I was little - and we had a great night out and lots of laughs - so that was nice.

Also I am doing a major scrap clean up and getting rid of excess / must have item and have placed them on Ebay - check out the link in the side bar or click here.

Also thank you everyone for your kind words about my last post :)

Life!!!!

Well today is 3 months since my life changed forever and every day is still a struggle.

i thought this new song was nice and also appropriate....

'I would hold you in my arms
and take your pain away'

What I would do for one more cuddle, not to see the pain in my babies eyes...i still feel so robbed, and I am guessing this pain will never go away. But not only don't I have my baby girl, i didn't get to hold her for the last couple of months of her life as she was so swollen it hurt when she was picked up. I felt so guilty when I did pick her up for a quick cuddle that pain on her face was horrible to see.

I have been looking back at some of the photos and they bring me to tears...I just didn't notice the size of her belly, the pained looked in her eyes, as long as I got a smile I was happy. i guess going in daily I just grew used to seeing her and saw the light that wasn't meant to be...i would just picture that she had to go through this and then when she got her new liver she would catch up with all that she was robbed of.

So with the combination of christmas - which i am not feeling Christmassy at all and some important decisions that are on my mind constantly I have been withdrawing a bit...focussing on my family and not other things - as they are not what is most important to me at the moment and pety other things aren't worth worrying about.

Future Salespeople

What a great night we had tonight.

All year both Josh and Teagans Year Levels have been working on an ongoing assignment. it started when they had a visit from a woodworker and they made the cut outs for a car. then they decorated them, made them motorised and then finally had to sell them.

Tonight was their presentation night and all the students had a little stand to try and sell their cars. they had to have a little sales pitch, point out the features and what makes theirs better than others.

All the children did fantastically, selling their cars to everyone whether they knew them or not. There are definately some future sale people out there....lol

It was great to see the different takes the children took on selling their cars. some were handing out business cards, some were giving out lollies, one of Josh's friends even had a computer presentation...the prices made us laugh as well (although no money was handed over) the kiddies were left to decide all the images for flyers and logos, information, pricing etc on their own....so the cars varied from $3.00 to $150.00....lol...Teagan was selling hers for $25.35 and Josh's was $20.50.

Here are some pics of Teagan at her stand as their years cars were out on display and Josh holding his packaged car and showing it to Nana and Grandpa.

Birthday weekend

OK now that I have bought myself another keyboard for the pute i can actually type...my space bar decided that it would quit...lol...kind of hard to type without a space bar....

Lets see Saturday

John and i left after lunch and firstly headed to the kiddies school to vote :( then we were on our way to the City. We parked the car at the Casino as it was the cheapest parking and walked about 5 minutes to our Hotel.

We stayed at the Rendezvous Hotel, it was beautiful. We put our bags in the room and headed into the City for some retail therapy. we walked through little Malls until we reached bourke Street Mall...had a look around and kept walking to Melbourne Central. I bought myself a smaller handbag for going out (one of my birthday presents from Mum). It was now 5pm and the shops were closing so we walked down to Federation Square had a look around - I personally don't see what is so great about it and then we headed back to the hotel.

We rested our feet for a while, as i think we walked a couple of K's...lol

Then we got ready and headed back to the Casino....we had planned on eating at a Restaurant in the Casino, but didn't make a booking and the line was huge...so we walked around for a while finding that every restaurant had huge lines and ended up eating in the food court..lol

Then John went off for an hour to play poker and I played the pokies and we both came out with wins. We decided to take our wins and run. we walked along Southbank and Southgate, i took some photos of the lights of the city and realised that i really need to learn more of the features of my camera...lol....then headed back to the room.

OK here I am on a bridge over the water overlooking Flinders Street Station...this is also the reason that i am behind the camera..it is a blurry photo taken by John but i kind of like it :)

We were rudely woken by John's boss calling at 9am on sunday morning, our one morning that we were kid free and could sleep in and the most annoying thing it wasn't even urgent...grrr...we did manage to get anothers hour sleep before checking out.

We got the car and headed off to the Queen Vic Markets. we picked up heaps of bargains. i bought a dress and top, bought an outfit each for josh and teagan and also a Christmas present for one of our friends bubs, plus John got some runners, a jacket and shirt.

finally it was time to head back home and to reality...lol...the kids didn't seem to miss us at all...lol...they made Chocolate Crackles with Nana, they played games, had McDonalds for dinner and on Sunday went to kick the soccer ball around at the park.

I completely forgot about my LO for the Scrap World Comp I was in - 'Scrap and the City' and rushed the LO as it had to be uploaded by 8pm. i didn't make it through to the next round which was the final round but am proud of the fact that I made it through to round 7 of 8. two of my LO's from the Comp...

Now to get back to my LO's i am doing for the School. Each year Scrapping Mums get given photos from that years school production and we each scrap pages for an album that is displayed in the office. i have only done 2 of the 6 LO's, so i want to get those finished before i start making the kiddies teachers presents and some other Christmas present...i have a feeling that I am not going to get everything finished :(

YEP!!! Its my Birthday!!

Well it was when I started this post!

Thank you everyone for your emails, SMS's and comments here of your birthday wishes.

I have had a lovely day.

Started with Teagan suprising me by being ready for school when I came to wake them up this morning...I have an ongoing battle to have Teagan ready in the morning - so she decided to suprise me.. :)

Then I got my suprise present from John - a tripod for my DSLR

I had already picked out a charm bracelet and also a buddah charm (for Rani)...I am going to wear the Buddah and Girl charms on my necklace and put the letter charms, heart etc from my chain on the bracelet. I got the bracelet when the kids came home from school.

Then Mum came home with my card (cash...gotta love that...lol) and a fairy figurine with 3 teddy bears - one for each of my kiddies and also some flowers.

Then Mum and I went shopping - not for me mind you - to pick up some presents for my little monsters...lol

When we got home from the shop there was more flowers on the table - tulips my favourite - John had them delivered home.

Finally a quick trip to the shops as Josh and Teagan both informed me that they needed wool for a Christmas project at school tomorrow...grrrr....I hate it when they leave it to the last minute.

Then just when I think I can rest on my birthday it is time to go again. Off to the School for the farewell of Shirley - the Schools Secretary - she is great and will be missed by us greatly...so that was a bit sad

Then when we walked in the door, Josh told me it was time for cake as they were almost ready to go to bed. Happy Birthday was sung - cake was eaten - then my 2 best friends came over with more flowers and birthday wishes.

Then I just got off the phone to my sister in London and it is now after mindnight and I am exhausted and happy my birthday is done for another year - now to start thinking of what I want for Christmas....lol

LOOK what I got today :)

How exciting.

i won them from entering a Comp at Scrappit last month...my whole name in 7inch wooden letters.

Can't wait to decorate them.....

Long Time - No Update

Well it has been a while since I updated. Just been feeling BLAH! this week. It is getting so close to Christmas and seeing all the cute little toys I would have been getting Rani for Christmas is bringing me down. Plus the weather has been horrible...pouring with rain, hail and now today it is hot...go figure.

I have not been motivated to scrap and just seem to be finishing swaps, CJ's, ATC's ect and don't feel that I am scrapping for myself. Although I did got to a girlfriends on Monday to scrap, so that got me a little motivated.

Looking forward to this weekend, as John and I are going out on Saturday night - kiddie free and staying in the City for my birthday....so that will be nice.

Lets see what has been happening at our place...

I seem to be spending every waking minute either in the shops or going through catalogues to try and find fussy 8 and almost 10 year old Christmas presents...couple this with Josh's Birthday Christmas Eve - I can't believe I will have a double digits boy this year - haven't even started to think about anyone elses presents....

We were shocked to see Santa in the Shopping Centre on Sunday - but took advantage of it and got our yearly Santa photo - although Josh didn't want to this year. It is getting so expensive for the photos $24.95 for 2 photos....I think we might get another one.

I thik the main reason Josh didn't want his photo taken is at School on Thursday he tripped over and stopped himself with his face, so has lots of scabs on his face and you can see them in the photo...so when it is clear we will do another one. Although he did ask me to do a LO on his faceplant...lol

Well that is about all that has been happening...well all I can think of...so I better be off to get the kids from school.

Also getting excited as it is not long until my sister comes home for a holiday (19th December)...I am happy to see her, but wish she was coming home for happier reasons.

A Lovely Weekend

Well we had a fabulous family weekend..

SATURDAY

We went to another School Fete - and the weather actually got quite hot...so we had a bit of a look around, got to see a Police Car, Ambulance, Fire Truck and SES Truck up close and personal...luckily as the Fire Truck was arriving, one of the Stall had a little fire and they put it out. The lines for the rides were way to long but being that it was such a wonderful day we decided to go down to a park about 20 minutes from home. The kids and I usually meet my cousin and her kiddies down there during the School Holidays, so John had never been there. It is a huge park with a great big fort playground, plenty of grass areas, paths and a pond and lake. The lake is full of ducks and you can catch padpoles there.
I was a bit sad as the last time I went to the park I had Rani home and was remembering how excited she was to see the ducks. So Josh and Teagan had a huge play, we went for a walk, the kiddies tried to catch tadpoles, walked the rest of the park and saw a couple gettig married and went home.

SUNDAY

We headed off to Jorja's 1st Birthday Party at Connies. It was looking kind of horrible weather wise when we left but we were all hot in pants as when the Sun came out it had some heat to it. Josh and Teagan had a ball as they had a Jumping Castle out the back, Connies Husband was wrapped when John said that he would cook the BBQ and then again I got emotional. I was watching little Jorja and sitting next to Teagan when she said 'Rani would be doing that' and then she went off to the Jumping Castle. Well the tears came again and I had to hide in Connies bedroom. John came in to comfort me.

I love to see other kiddies happy and healthy and new bubbas etc...but sometimes it just reminds me of what I am/will miss with Rani and it hurts...plus this week with finalising everything has been a horrible week so I am happy to see it end.

Well I best be off and pack up some scrapping supplies as I am off to scrap with a girlfriend tommorrow - although I don't know whether I will scrap or cuddle her little bubba :)

Just for Me!!!

I haven't done anything just for me in such a long time, so on Thursday I finally got my hair cut. The hairdresser was horrified at the condition of the ends of my hair, giving me a pretend slap on the wrist. She said it looked like I hadn't had a haircut for a couple of months - she nearly passed out when I told her it had been a year!!!!...shocking isn't it...we worked out that I last had my haircut when I was 7 months pregnant with Rani...well I had other things on my mind the last year...least of which was a haircut.

So it is done...I kept it a bit longer this time...as it was cut shoulder length and had grown halway down my back...so it is now an inch or slow longer than my shoulder with layers cut into it and around my face and I think I look fresher and younger...lol....can't be bothered taking a photo to show though...lol

Well we are off to another school fete tomorrow..hopefully this one will be better than the last couple of ones that we have been to lately.

Then on Sunday we are off to celebrate Jorja's 1st birthday at Connie's house...looking forward to getting to spend some more time with her.

Also what I suprise I came home to on Thursday after getting my haircut. A HUGE box full of Choccie Biscuits, Lollies, Snacks, Chocolate, Wine, lots and lots of things that Josh's Teacher and Teagan Teacher last year had arranged. They sneakily asked everyone in Josh's class to bring in a little something...it was so sweet..i would have taken a photo but John grabbed everything out before I had a chance...lol....

Oh yeah and I have managed to do a little bit of scrapping - although I am still trying to find my desk...in the middle of cleaning it...can you tell I don't want to...I am enjoying doing some OTP stuff...so here are some Door Hangers I made for Josh and Teagan.

We Did It!

Well John and I went down to Lilydale on Friday and have arranged Rani's Plaque and plot in the Rose Garden right in front of a beautiful Rose called Jean Galbraith Rose Bush. We also got a guarantee that the plaque would be ready by Christmas - so we just need to call 2 days before we want to do the interment service. It wasn't nice and neither of us slept much the night before hand...but it is done and it will be nice to have a place to go and visit Rani.

We ended up going with the poem that we put on the back of the card that we handed out at the Funeral.

It reads

'How very softly you tiptoed into our world
almost siletly
only a moment you stayed
but what an imprint your tiny footprints
have left in our hearts'

This is the brass plaque that we have ordered

In the top corners will be these little cherubs mirroring each other - we thought it was cute and the hair reminded us of her out of control hair.

Then in the centre oval just before the poem this picture of our baby girl. Happy, smiling and of course forever with a dummy :)

Thank you everyone for the poems and quotes that you emailed and left in the comments section. They were truly appreciated and beautiful...but we thought that the poem that we used was Rani.

LOOONG WEEKEND

This weekend is an extra long weekend for us. Except for John who has to work Monday. The kiddies have Monday off school as a Curriculum Day and then Tuesday for Melbourne Cup Day, so i am looking forward to a couple more stress free day of not worrying about getting the kids off to school.

We have had a lovely kick back weekend. Josh and Teagan had 'wear your pyjamas to school day' on Friday and Teagan hasn't gotten out of them all weekend....lol...

My cousin, her hubby and their kids came over for a couple of drinks and pizza on Friday night...it was nice to catch up with them all. Well we catch up every couple of months - but it was nice for Dad and John to see them all.

My cousin gave me my birthday present early as we probably won't see each other again until Christmas. A beautiful little girl charm - she actually got one for me, my sister and my mum - for all of our birthdays. So my little girl will go on my necklace next to my 'R'.

Saturday was a complete vegge out day - everyone stayed in their PJ's all day - ok not John, just me, Josh and Teagan. Mum and Dad went to a Wedding, my sister went to an engagement party and we had the house to ourselves...so Fish and Chips for dinner and some DVD's topped of our relaxing Saturday.

Josh has gone for a play at his friends house today and on Tuesday he is off to the Races with some other school friends so it has been a quiet Sunday. You can really tell who is the chatterbox inthis house - it is always so quiet when he is not home....lol

Here is what I did on Saturday - a hanging open album that I bought at Paperific after I saw Connie's - we went back in and bought one...lol...I am pleased with the way it turned out.

Scrappy, Scrappy

Well some of my MOJO seems tohave returned and I am enjoying scrapping again.

Maybe it was getting new photos - even though I have a pile about 3 inches thick to scrap - so mostly I have scrapped my sisters recent birthday.



















So Becca has been happy...lol

Not a lot more been happening here...

We are doing the scary count down to Christmas and I haven't got anything organised - also looking forward to having my other sister home for Christmas.

Thank you everyone for you emails and comments about my last post - will let you know what we decide :)

Strange Request

Now I know this may sound strange - but unfortunately John and I have to make the final arrangement soon for what we want to have on Rani's plaque so it is done in time for when my sister is here over Christmas.

We know what we want to say but want to put a small quote / poem (about 2 lines) on the bottom that sums our little girl up but we keep drawing a blank or it just doesn't sound right as we have to look at this for years to come and don't want to be frustrated by the wording...iykwim!!!

So if any of you have a nice quote / poem could you let me know...ALL HELP IS APPRECIATED

Need to take Notice of Dates...lol

Thankfully today I thought I would double check the flyer for the Fete at the Primary School I went to. I am glad that I did as I thought it was Sunday and it was today and having promised the kids that we would go - I would have had to upset kiddies tomorrow.

So we quickly had some lunch and headed down to the Fete. I guess I thought it would be bigger as the School was also celebrating being open for 30 years...but the truth be told it was a bit disappointing...even for a small school. I did get to take John and the kiddies for a tour of the school and the scary thing is that in the 20 year (no it can't be that long...lol) since I finish Primary School it is still exactly the same - not a lot has changed at all. But other than doing a quick tour of the school, going to the Library and seeing some old class pictures and Josh and Teagan laughing at what me, my sisters and brother looked like years ago there wasn't really a lot to do. There were a couple of rides but more for younger kids so after about 20 minutes the kids were bored and so were we, so we headed off to another School Fete around the corner from home.

This one at least had some more things to look at. The kids each went on a ride - Teagan had her hair sprayed at the first fete and Josh had his face painted at the second fete. They each got a lucky dip, played on the playground and then we headed home. On the way out I got to catch up with my best friends parents so that was nice.

PLUS it was so cold it was a great excuse to head back home. We have been getting a little bit of that much needed rain...but talk about a freezing wind - of course it is meant to fine up on Monday when the kids are back at school. Why is it always horrible on the weekends when we want to do things and beautiful when the kids are at school?

Well daylight savings kicks in tonight - so we are robbed an hour of sleep - but looking forward to the lighter nights, maybe I can start walking again and feel safe as it was so dark at 6pm I didn't like going out.

Well enough rambling I should be in bed - got an exciting day of shoe shopping - not for me for the monsters so not looking forward to that one...didn't I say that I wanted to scrap this weekend!!!!

Out and About

Well today I dragged John to the Paperific Expo...I was going to go with a girlfriend but she couldn't make it - so hence John came.....lol...plus he needed to go to the City so it was a win win situation.

Also I finally got to meet the lovely Connie today, caught up with her a Paperific while having an expensive lunch...lol...and yes we went inside and bought that hanging thing (technical term).

So we have just had Pizza for dinner and I am feeling some Mojo forming...so I may actually scrap tonight or hopefully some time this weekend.

WOOHOO I scrapped...well I started this the other day and then didn't like the set up for the photo I wanted originally (can you tel my Mojo went on holidays...) so I added this pic of my sis on her birthday.

A Good Day!!!

I went to visit my friend and her 3 week old baby girl today - I got to her house at 9.30am and left at 3pm..lol...only because we had to get our kiddies from school...it was a great day of chatting and baby cuddles.

It was great just to get out of the house...I have been fighting of bouts of depression lately. I am awake until the wee hours of the mornig unable to sleep...so then sleeping half the day away and not doing anything during the day.

So I decided that it was time for a change. So I have changed my Blog...going to get a haircut next week and make sure that I go out more often...although I did manage to go to the new scrapping shop that is just up the road from me...so that could become expensive...lol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

REBECCA

My baby sister is 25 Today.....

A HUGE THANK YOU

I will do a proper catch up later...Thank you to everyone that has sent emails to me asking how I am...I am feeling much better now...

BUT.....

my HUGE THANK YOU is because of the letter we got from the Royal Childrens Hospital on Friday.

It was a Thank You letter for the Donations that had been made to the Hospital with a list of the people who had donated and amazingly so far there is a total of $1210.00.

This amount will be going up as when Teagan went back to Physical Culture (dancing) after the School Holidays they handed us an envelope with Donations they had collected for the Hospital on behalf of Rani.

It is really touching that so many people out there have donated to help prevent this happening to another family.

SO THANK YOU :)

Out of the Mouth of Kiddies

I just had to share this story.

The other night John, Teagan and I were heading out to get some dinner (Take way)...Josh was staying at a friends house for the night...anyway....

This is the part of the conversation that we had with Teagan.

She said "the other day at school I was asked what I would do if I had three wishes'.

John and I whispered at the same time - have Rani back.

Teagan continued - 'my first wish would be that Rani was still alive' - we both thought that was lovely.

'my second wish was that we could have thousands of dollars and buy a brand new mansion and new cars'.

By this stage John and I were laughing - telling her we would need hundreds of thousands just to buy a house...so both John and Teagan decided that wish three would be that we won the lotto every week...lol

We thought it was so cute that she thought it was only thousands to get a house. The funny thing was when you think about it and the way we explained it to Teagan is that we need 400 piles of $1000 and it doesn't sound that much...LOL

A Little Update

Well it has been a while since I have been on...my stupid puter is playing silly buggars and acting like I don't exist...grrr and my emails have been going everywhere - so if you have emailed me and I haven't replied, perhaps send it again....

Well on Friday I got to meet the lovely Kirst and her beautiful little girl while they were down visiting her in-laws...mind you her in-laws live in the next street from where we are...lol...such a shame I *met* here after she moved to Sydney.

Mot much scrapping going on lately. I have managed to catch some sort of bug that is just making me feel BLAH!...i think it is the weather, one minute it is boiling hot then it is freezing and my poor body doesn't know what to do.

Well I will leave you with a pic of my Chipboard Storage, I have been painting 3 of these up to be all the same. To store things like Chipboard (obviously), alphabets and embellishments.

We Did It!

John and I went down to the Memorial Park today where we had Rani's Service.

We needed to go and see where we wanted to place her ashes. It was horrible driving down there...all the memories flooding back but we did what we needed to.

We walked all around the Park and finally decided that we like the Rose Garden...they do have a Baby Section...but it is just a strip of concrete in the grass and cluttered with toys and stuff on the other plots and the Rose Garden is much nicer.


We have to make an appointment (we later found out....lol) to work out all of the final details. The lovely lady that we did speak to gave us a pack of information, prices, etc so when we go back we will have everything we want on her plaque and a little more prepared for the day, so that everything is organised fo rthe Service in December when my sister is home.

Plus Miss Rani put on a beautiful day for us...it is 28 degree and just beautiful today...lovely for Melbourne...lol

WOW

After a great Saturday at friends that was meant to be a BBQ lunch and turned into dinner as well...I crawled out of bed on Sunday to find an email that my Fairy LO of Teagan had one the Cyber Scraps September Competition. $100 to spend on scrapping goodies..WOOHOO of course by Sunday night I had placed my order...lol...can't wait to play when I get my goodies.

Not a long post...but had to share...and nothing else really exciting to update with :)

Scrapping...

Well I ended up doing 2 LO's last night.

One rom the show..I love the colours in the photos...the sky is so blue..it was the perfect day.

the other for my BOM...just some random stuff about being 32 and YES a photo of me...lol

Doctors and Babies and Engagements

Well my girlfriend had a Baby Girl today...3.6kg...but no name yet. I will let her rest up and call her tomorrow and get more details. Her poor Son will be so upset, he was convinced this baby would be a boy because he has 2 sisters already...but now he has another sister.

Well we all went to the Doctors this afternoon..what a fun trip that was. I only needed a referal. Josh has had a rash for a week and today was the earliest we could get him in and we found out that he has Eczema. And John had to get a referal for a blood test and also had a growth on his arm looked at which is getting cut out next week. Teagan was the only one that didn't need anything from the Doctor...lol

Well I popped out today and bought more ink for my printer and have printed out photos...the kids are bathed and in bed and now I think it is time to scrap!

WOW! Just got a phone call from one of my Best Friends to say that she got engaged!!!...CONGRATS!!! I am very excited for you both...but I guess you could tell that when I spoke to you...lol

Good and Bad

Well today has been good and bad.

Well it started last night when my sister suprised us with a huge canvas that she had printed of our one and only family photo...she was very sneaky and went through all my photos on my puter one day while we were out.

Then this morning when I checked the PO Box I had a parcel from Memories and More with my goodies from my Gallery Pick win and also a Parcel from Michelle M.

Thank you Michelle the Angel of Rememberance is beautiful. I love these Angels and have a collection of them and now have a special one to add to them. Thank You.

Well just before we went to walk up to get the kids Dad bought down an envelope addressed to John. It was her Death Certificate...so it was a bit sad reading it...but read what we thought...although it is depressing seeing Cause of Death liver failure, pulmonary failure and renal failure..so many causes..my poor little fighter.

Well the kids had a great first day back at school, although I don't think either of them were impressed that they got homework on the first day back...lol...But they were tired again tonight so another early night.

I spoke to my girlfriend this afternoon...she is going in to have bub no.4 tomorrow (c-section). I am actually looking forward to seeing this new addition..so I await the phone call tomorrow afternoon.

Update

Thank you everyone for your comments about my last post...it is truly appreciated.

Well I think 3AW are going to be sick of hearing from John...he was in the car when he heard that again they were talking about organ donation, so he rang up and again talked about Rani and stressed the importance of Organ Donation.

Today is a bit sad as it is exactly 1 month since our little girl lost her fight and no one really slept well last night. Except the kiddies they were exhausted.

We have had a big couple of days. On Friday we went to my cousins for lunch (also with my mum) and the kids ran around and played with my cousins kiddies. Then we went out for dinner with friends and Josh and Teagan spent the night at their house.

Then on Saturday John took the kids to other friends for lunch - I was supposed to go but felt sick - and again Josh and Teagan ran around with their children so by the time they got home they were ready for bed.

Today is a kick back day as they are back to school tomorrow..YIPEE!!!..back to routine again...lol

Oh yeah when I did get out of bed I had a lovely email to say that my 'Dad' Lo had won the monthly competition at Bons Scraps - It is uploaded in the Gallery Section

Here are some LO's that I did last night while I couldnt sleep.

I hate nights!!!

Here it is midnight and again I am wide awake and avoiding bed.

Most nights I watch DVD's until I am so tired that I turn the TV off and fall asleep.

The silence is horrible...nothing to distract me and thoughts in my head.

I have so many conversations that play in my head...mostly the horrible conversation we had with her Specialist when he told us that she probably wouldn't make it through the night...but the worst is the phone call from John on 'that horrible Friday' telling me I have to get into the Hospital NOW! as they didn't think her heart would survive much longer...these conversations give me nightmares...bring me to tears and are a constant reminder of how much I miss our Princess and how it is killing me inside not having her here with me.

My body has adjusted quite well on a couple of hours of sleep each night..but we are not doing a lot as it is the school holidays and if I want to sleep in I can...but next week we are back to normal routines again.

When does it stop hurting...I am guessing the answer is never...it is just so unfair...how can life be so cruel!!!!

I would give anything for just another cuddle or to hear her laugh again...thankfully my brother got that on his mobile phone and a friend of his put it on a disc for us...but it just isn't the same...I just want my baby back...I miss her so much and I hate nights as this is when I notice it the most.

Thank you for reading my vent....

Tagged!

OK I have been tagged by Julie

The rules of the tag are:
List 5 weird things about yourself or your pets. Tag 5 friends and list them. Then, those people need to write on their blogs about 5 weird things, and state the rules, and tag 5 more people. Don't forget to let the people you tag know by posting a comment on their blog!

1. I can't touch peeled bananas...they make me sick!!!!
2. I can't drive with shoes on.
3. I can't fall asleep if the TV is on!
4. I can't digest fat!!!
5. I hate being touched by other peoples feet...EWWWWW!!

Ok i tag - Well it looks like pretty much everyone has been tagged...so I tag anyone who hasn't updated their blog since they have been tagged...lol

Over my First Hurdle

Well today one of my sisters friends came over with her 2 month old daughter. It is the first time I have seen a little bubba since Rani passed away. I was feeling a bit anxious as I walked up the stairs but I was fine once I saw her. I had heaps and heaps of cuddles and even fed her a bottle...something I hadn't done for months!...so it was good and now I know that I will be fine to see my girlfriend when she has her bubba next week.

Then to my suprise John came home tonight with a huge pizza box under his arms...the label said Tarisota ...I knew I hadn't placed an order with them and this is what I found inside.. here ..I had been RAK'ed from Tamar...so Thank You, Thank You, Thank You...all the goodies are just beautiful!

I also scrapped this morning...this is one of the photos of Teagan with her face painted at the Show yesterday...lol

EXHAUSTED

Well the expensive, exhaustive day off the Royal Melbourne Show is over for another year...lol

We thought it would be smart to leave home after lunch as today was the first nice day since the Show opened and suspected that everyone would make a morning dash.

Well obviously there are lots of people out there that think the same way as me. It was packed....the car park was full...of course there is no carparking anywhere (without getting a ticket) so we had to walk about 1/2 a km...but it was free parking.

The sun was out, the sky was blue and it was a beautiful day.

The kids and John went on a couple of rides...I am the official bag holder...lol...then we had a look around at the animals etc. As a tradition the kids and John always go on the Ferris Wheel I am scared of heights so you aren't going to see me up there. Then our other tradition is face painting...again the kiddies looked fantastic.

Then before we knew it we had been there for 6 hours so finally my tradition of Hot Jam Donuts on the way out....before the long walk back to the car but this time piled up with Showbags and time to start saving for next year...lol

So here is my monster and fairy...I am off to bed to rest my aching feet! and perhaps have some lollies out of my show bags!

A Scrappy Kind of Weekend

The weather in Melbourne has been absolutely horrible this weekend...cold, wet and windy..it had better pick up so we can take the kids to the Show next week...but of course that means it has been perfect scrapping weather.

I have decided that I am not ready to scrap Rani photos yet, so i am going to go back and finish Josh and Teagans Albums. They are both very happy about this as they didn't like the fact that Rani had 3 albums already in her short life and I don't think I am anywhere near finished. I just told them she smiled for the camera...one of my LO's is the prefect example of why they don't have many pages...lol..plus it didn't help that I found scrapping when they were 3 and 4 years old :(

OK so here are my LO's.

Firstly Teagan pulling faces when I was trying to get a nice photo of her.

Then also back in early 2005 when my sister came home from London and we suprised Josh and Teagan by not telling them...she was staying home but is back living there again...can't wait to see her at Christmas.

Gift Share!!!

I have been RAK'ed and sent lovely gifts galore in the last couple of weeks and thought I would say thank you and share some of them.

Firstly I got a mystery RAK from one of the lovely girls at the Scrap Pile of some ribbons and chipboard shapes.

Then I got this beautiful little mini tin album from Chris Millar
Which takes pride of place on my handbag.

Then another goodies package arrived from the girls at the Scrap Pile. Can be seen here.

Then I recieved a pizza box full of BG paper, embelishments and flowers from Fiona Leehane, who RAK'ed me after speaking to Chris Millar and Kirst.

Plus a couple of days after Rani's service I found two beautiful birthday presents for her from the lovely Chrissy and our friends Dave and Karen who live in Queensland.

Chrissy's is a beautiful prayer lamb that sits on my desk and reminds me of her and Rani.

Karens is the most adorable t-shirt that she had printed on the front 'Princess Rani' and two singlets. I am going to put the t-shirt in a shadow box with some pics of her.
I have to thank Karen also for the effort that she put in coming to Rani's funeral. She left Brisbane the morning of the funeral, arrived in Melbourne, got a shuttle bus to Spencer St Station, the train to Lilydale Station and a Taxi to the Service, only just making it in time. Then 2 hours after the service was back on her way to the airport to go home.

So a HUGE THANK YOU and sorry if I have forgotten anyone for all the lovely goodies..I can't wait to scrap, scrap, scrap.

Also some of you have already seen this but a LO of Teagan with her curlers. There will be page 2 with curls but needed to order more of the PP. :)