Thursday, December 14, 2006

Crazy Times

Is it January yet!!!

I would really like this year to be over and done with...I am not feeling in the least bit Christmassy...I am stressed out, haven't finished shopping, have a mountain of things to do and feel depressed that i don't have my baby at home with me for Christmas and of course this would be the first Christmas that she really would get some idea of what was going on.

Well I don't feel as though I am getting anything done, yet I haven't stopped. I seem to be spending most days at shopping centres looking for that something and most days coming home empty handed.

Teagans dancing concert is coming up this Tuesday so they have been having extra practises Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night...

PLUS my sister also arrives in the wee hours tuesday morning, spoke to her last night and am starting to get excited over her visit.

Also got a call yesterday from Lilydale and they have got the correct plaque in and were changing it over today, so we are going to have our Memorial Service on 28th December, as a family event when we place Rani's ashes in the ground and say our final goodbyes....so not looking forward to that.

2006 has just been a horrible year for us and I want it to end. I don't think 2007 is going to hold any miracles but it can't be anywhere near as bad as this year.

It is so hard some days and I can honestly see how couples don't make it after the death of a child. NO John and I are not seperating, we are fine....of course we have had some tense times as we are both at different stages of grieving and of course snappy and you take it out on the person closest to you...of course my punching bag would be John. It has been somewhat of a blessing being at home with Mum and Dad as they understand what we are all going through. But asI said things are fine and we can only take things day by day and try to understand our emotions and deal with our grieving inour own ways.


Well it is still so smoky outside...there is a constant haze everywhere...i should have grabbed my camera and taken a pic of the sun yesterday morning...it was glowing red....today isn't as bad, but it is alot warmer and the wind has picked up, so i hope it doesn't effect the fires...hopefully we will get the much needed rain that is forecast for tomorrow.

Well I had better get organised...have to do some little things to Teagans dancing costume, finish making presents for the teachers and work out what the kiddies are going to wear to school tomorrow for Crazy Dress Day...thankfully they still have another wek left of school so i can become a little more organised...lol

6 comments:

Chris Millar said...

2006 has been no doubt the hardest year of your life. And it's totally understandable that at times things are tense at home. Hugs to you all.

Rachael said...

sending plenty of christmas spirit to you all, hoping that you can find some joy in this time of year, no matter how sad you feel.
Bless you Mel, you have been such a pillar of strength, I admire you and the rest of the family. We are thinking of you
xoxox

Alisha73 said...

Of anyone I know, I really hope 2007 brings you of all people some happiness. This would not be an easy time of year at all for you guys and my thoughts are with you. All the girls at my work use to look in here from time to time and it shows and the other day one said to me listen that song on the radio..its Rani's song..It was the evanesence song you had on here..Rani made an impression on lots of people..more than you would know...She is still with you as hard as it may seem. She is the beautiful breeze that ruffles your hair on a hot summers day or the bright star on a lovely clear night. I will be thinking of you guys at christmas and on the 28/12/06
Love
Alisha

Anonymous said...

Hoping 2007 is a better year for you Mel.

Have fun at Teagans concert. Asher had hers a few weeks back and she had a ball.

Thinking of you all.

Anonymous said...

Oh Mel - sending Christmas blessings to you, John, Josh and Teagan, and the rest of your families. I continue to admire your strength.

Have a great time at Teagan's concert

Luv 'n hugs

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