Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Day at the Park...

We have a huge park within a couple of minutes drive from us, but often forget about it when thinking of things to do over the weekend.

A couple of weekends ago I remembered and we headed down to let the kids run wild.

Everyone enjoyed it, including Lainey who couldn't get enough of the swing and got more and more excited the higher she was pushed.

here are some photos from the day.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Do you want to win....


Check out the details HERE

there is LOADS of stuff here, valued at over $100-
pink paislee, october afternoon, crate paper, PRIMA, rouge de garance, my minds eye..

paper, DIECUT paper, cardstock, alphas, flowers, butterflies, gem brads, rhinestones, vinyl, felt, fabric, precission scissors and the latest scrapbooking creations.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Well a lot has happened since my last blog...but if you are friends with me on Facebook you would be kept up to

Well little miss Lainey will be 8 months old on Friday and I must say that it is going way to quickly and she is growing up way to fast...she doesn't realise that she is meant to stay my baby forever.

So she is now crawling everywhere, she thought she would show off and in one day she decided that she would sit up by herself, but not happy with that a couple of hours later she decided that she would crawl as well, unlike my other Lainey skipped the comando crawling and went straight for it.

AS you can imagine is it mayhem at the house sometime with Kai going one way and Lainey going the other and of course both of them getting in to something they shouldn't be touching.

This is what I found the other day when I left Lainey to play in the family room and had given Kai a choc chip cookie...well he thought he would share!Do you think you think she enjoyed

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Whoopps forgot my password...BUT

Want to win a 3 month kit subscription from Bons Scraps???

REGISTER HEREthe comp start TODAY.
you will need to be or become an active member of the forum.
it will run for 4 weeks, one task per week.
the comp will be judged by "doing" not "best"
there will be no eliminations.

TONIGHT is also cybercrop night so make sure you pop in and why not BRING A FRIEND ;)


it's sale time!!!!!!

monday the 19th - friday the 23rd of october.

bon's scraps will be offering 20% off everything

with the exception of- kit and kit subscriptions, retreat payments and crop days.


Friday, September 04, 2009

A Little Trip

A couple of weeks ago we all flew up to Sydney for a weekend. I know that we didn't catch up with family or friends as we decided to make it just family time...I know you all understand. We decided just to get away for a couple of days to relax before the stress of last week.

We had a lovely time, Sydney put on fantastic weather for us...28 degrees most days. I was a bit concerned about flying with the little ones but they both fell asleep pretty much the whole flight.

So we did Paddy's Market, Opera House, Toronga Zoo, a ferry trip around the Harbour - I must admit I was pretty impressed with get sea sick on big boats! and I went on the ferry4 times and as some people know I have a huge fear of heights and I even managed to go in the cable car to get to the Zoo...big steps for me.

The only downer to the trip was we all got gastro...on our last day we had planned to go to the Aquarium, the night before Kai had gotten sick, in the morning I felt like rubbish so we changed our flights to an earlier one, before we got on the plane Josh was sick and then by the time we got home John and Teagan were we had 24 hours of hell but thankfully it was a quick bout except for poor Kai :(

But all in all it was a lovely trip and nice to get away and spend some time all together as a family.

Anyway here are some pics

Monday, August 31, 2009

Silly Things...

I have found that I have handled this week a lot better than I thought, perhaps it was because John was away for the last 5 days, so I had to be both Mum and Dad to the kiddies which kept me busy. Plus scrapping inspiration hit, which was also a great excuse to stay up to the wee hours of the morning and literally fall into bed with no dreams, thoughts flooding my brain.

Of course I can't turn off everything, there are down times but it has been great to chat to friends throughout the week - usually I turn into a hermit crab and nobody hears from me or sees me.

One of the silly things that keeps playing over and over is that last week in ICU - I remember and feeling guilty firstly because we got excited that Rani would finally be Cat1 for a liver (so basically next in line) the catch being she was to sick to get a liver - but don't get me started on the stupid rules and stipulations of getting an organ. I still get upset that people got calls at home to get a liver - we saw 4 transplants while we waited and one of them was a boys second!!! admittedly his wasn't compatible...but still we waited and waited but this level wasn't high enough or that blood reading wasn't the right amount and she stayed a Cat2, waiting for only a liver that was available in Victoria! I believe that if you are to sick to go home and your levels are rising on a daily basis you should get an organ from all of Australia instead of someone less needy that just happens to be in the right state. I also wonder how many people with self inflicted alcohol ruined livers got one over Rani and whether they continued to drink even after being given a second chance. I am sorry if that offends but it is my opinion and if you had to listen to the ridiculous rules you would probably feel the same.

Anyway as I said the guilt...I guess I got really thought it was just another trip to ICU - we had done it 3 or 4 times by this stage - had a big scare and in a couple of days she was back up at 5W. AS she was in ICU you are only allowed 2 people in at a time, so I let other family members spend more time with thing I regret to this day. We should have had warning bells ringing in our ears those first couple of days as they allowed us to have 5-6 people in the room...but still living in hope that she would pull through and I guess the conflicting stuff we were being Doc would be doom and gloom and the next would be more optimistic.

I remember the worst day was the Monday when all the Specialist had a meeting to see whether it was worthwhile fighting for Rani - worst day of our lives and of course the meeting wasn't until 6pm. But we were given more false hope - the transplant surgeon stated that is she came off certain drugs she could get a liver...I really don't think she was ever going to get a liver.

You know there are days that I think maybe, just maybe I could handle it better if she passed while getting a liver, or from complications because at least she got there...I feel robbed, not only from having Rani taken from us, but the fact that we never got the chance to see what the life saving liver could do for our little girl.

The thing that haunts me the most is that phone call almost 3 years to the day now - it was John telling me, my mum, dad and brother to get in to the Hospital as Rani was fading fast. I thought there was no way that my little girl would die without her Mummy saying good-bye so I wasn't going. I honestly don't remember a lot of that afternoon. It is in bits...I remember the phone call, then Dad doing up my seat belt, Mum helping me down the Hospital Halls to ICU and kissing my baby goodbye.

That is when my world collapsed...I had to get out of the Hospital the wall were caving in on me...I remember sending a SMS to friends and then we were in the bottle shop - drowning our sorrows.

This has made me a different person (nobody would be the same) and I have lost lots of friendships after this. People that I thought were good friends that just dissappeared. I understood that people didn't know what to say, so I gave them time but hey it happens and I realised that life is to short to be worrying about it. I know that the friends that have stuck by us are our true friends and we love them all and thank you for your support for the last 4 years...and of course our families...I know without my family and all the support, time in the Hospital, looking after Josh and Teagan and just generally being there and listening and I guess being able to talk it through with people that lived it has helped keep me sane...thank you just doesn't seem enough xxx

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

3 years ago

3 years ago today our worst nightmare started.

Well the poor roller coaster of a life that Rani was leading for the year was hell on all of us, I am absolutely positive it was complete hell for our beautiful baby girl. I am still amazed that we still got smiles out of her everyday no matter how much pain she was in. She was such a fighter.

So yesterday 3 years ago we were excited to be celebrating Rani's 1st birthday - I still have such fond memories of the party we had in her Hospital room, the effort some of the night nurses went into decorating her room, the fact that some of the nurses came in on their day off - it was such a beutiful day - but we knew she was getting worse - she spiked many temps, was miserable and didn't want to make eye contact. We were told she needed a liver really soon but I don't even think her Specialist saw coming what happened the following day.

Her birthday was a Friday and Saturday was the begining of our nightmare. We have come to realise that Saturday was the day her body gave up, when I saw her stop breathing she had given up the fight. My little fighter could not fight anymore. We had one more week with our beautiful angel while machines fought to keep her alive, but sadly even they couldn't keep her going and Friday 1st September 2006 we had to say goodbye.

Now everyday I think of my beautiful buddha baby, all I have to do is look over to the unit opposite the lounge and see her smiling face...but this week is the most difficult time of the year.

Yesterday our little girl turned 4 - what I would have given to be making cup cakes for her birthday - like I did for her 1st birthday - instead of putting flower at her plaque - what I would give to have her here with us now.

We still have a million what if questions and even knowing that they can never be answered still doesn't stop your mind going over everything over and over again, wondering what we could have done differently to get that precious liver that we so desperately needed.

The nightmares start at this time of the year also - I close my eyes and that last week replays over and over in my head...seeing my baby so miserable, bleeding and then stop breathing is something that is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. It is one of the reason why I couldn't be in the room when we made the heart breaking decision to turn the machines off. I had seen my baby die once and I couldn't do it again. She was obviously ready to go as the machines were turned off after I said my good byes and left and within seconds she was gone.

The pain I felt that day is the same today almost 3 years later - a never ending pain that I will carry until one day I meet her again.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Photos by Katie

A couple of weeks ago we had the pleasure of having Katie Toland come to our house and do some photos. I must say it was so much more relaxed in the house - no rush with a certain times in the studio and when we didn't need the other kiddies and John they were able to go and do their own things - amazingly even with Katie there Kai had an afternoon nap.

I just love the photos that she took and there are even more. It is going to be hard to pick our favourites. Thanks Katie for coming out.

So here are some of the shots, our sneak peaks. :)

Love my cheeky girls big smile :)

I think one of my favourite shots of Lainey

and this it :)

Look at my big boy - so handsome - but growing up way to fast

my beautiful girl - so photogenic - but also growing up way to quickly

love the cheeky look on Kai's face - so him - I am amazed Katie managed to get any decent shots of him - as per usual he didn't want to stand still

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Little Photo Shoot

Well a couple of weeks ago I bought myself a new lense for my camera and while Lainey was in a happy mood I did a little photo shoot.

I am pleased with some of the photos :)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Just photos

mainly pics of Lainey for my sister in London as requested :)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Life got away from me

OK I will try and keep this updated from now on...for all those people that have told me off here is an update for you.

Well little Miss Lainey is now 11 weeks old - it has gone so quickly. She has just moved into Kai's room into her own cot, she looks so tiny in it. She was sleeping all night in our room, we are having a little bit of problems getting her to bed at night in the cot, but I am sure we will be back to all night again soon - I hope so as I need my

Kai is 13 months now and just a joy of a kid. He is so happy all the time (except when his teeth are hurting him :( ) but he is so in love with Lainey it is great, constantly giving her big sloppy kisses and cuddles.

Josh finally got to go on his camp a couple of weeks ago. His camp was in Healesville but got cancelled because of the he is happy now that he has been and he had a ball and came home with practically no voice!

Teagan is doing well also. She recently had her belated 11th party at the local skate rink. She also turned 11 since my last post...I can't believe my babies are growing up so fast :(

We also had Johns parents down for a visit to meet Lainey for the first time. We took them to the Zoo and everyone had a ball. I think Kai was still a little young to really understand it all, but if the animals were moving he was fascinated with them.

OK so I have done some scrapping...

This one was the monthly sketch at Bon's last month

This was using the boys kit from Bons last month

and this was using the girls kit from Bon's last moth.OK I will do a photo post later, I am off for lunch and then out for dinner ( a late Mothers Dinner with my family)

Bye, thanks for stopping by and please say Hello :)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Run for the Kids

Yes, it has come around again...Run for the Kids 2009 to raise money for The Royal Childrens Hospital Good Friday Appeal.

As you know the RCH holds a special place in our hearts and we are forever thankfully to the staff at RCH for looking after Rani.

For the 3rd year my brother Steven is running the 14.1km in honour of Rani.

If you would like to sponser him follow this link - Hero's Page

Thank you to those that have already sponsored him :)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My Baby Boy is 1

On Saturday Kai turned 1...I still can't beleive that he is a year old it has flown so quickly.

We had a little party for him as John was away - so just my family and friends...

Kai really didn't understand what was going on. I think Josh and Teagan were more excited, Teagan even woke me at 8 to tell me Kai wanted to open his He opened one and then got bored with it all and walked off.

He was well and truly spoilt and my lounge room ended up looking like a toy shop - now to find space for these new toys...I think I really need to do my trip to Ikea and get some more furniture :)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I scrapped!!!

It has been a while - the lat thing I did was a 6 x 12 album for Kai before I had Lainey...i really should scan it one day.

So while it rained this weekend I took advantage of some home time and scrapped.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Almost there....

Well our little man has decided that he has had enough of walking using the furniture or holding our hands and decided to take his first steps alone. It started with one or two and now it is around 10 steps, it is so exciting to we are positive that he will be walking by the time he is one - which really isn't that far off :(

So here is our excited man walking.

and a family photo of the kiddies

Friday, February 27, 2009


Lainey Grace Joi...

We headed into the Hospital at 6.30am to prepare for the C-section and at 8am were ready to go. This C-section was definately different to Kai's...everything side effect that they said could happen I had. My chest was heavy and my nose blocked making it difficult to breathe, I felt sick the whole operations, but everything disappeared when we saw our little girl..and she is little - well to us - the smallest of all 5 of our kiddies.

Recovery was pretty quick and the nice thing was that they bought Lainey to me in recovery this time...with Kai I didn't see him for nearly an hour.

Back to the room and the side effects hit again, throwing up, itchy skin from the morphine (I actually needed drugs to stop the itching) back thankfully after 12 hours or so most of the effects had worn off and I could enjoy some one on one time with my little lady.

I am home now and in a lot more pain than I was last time, hoping all this will disappear soon, but all worth it to have a beautiful healthy little princess.

Here are some piccies...

First cuddle

Kai with his little sister - he looks so big now - he is not really interested in his sister at all!!
Josh - the proud big brother
Teagan wrapped to have another girl in the
and the little princess