Monday, August 25, 2008

Happy Happy Birthday

my beautiful Buddha Baby.

Today Rani turns 3 and I am full of emotions.

I have been out to see her this morning, so wishing instead I was seeing delight in her face as she opens her birthday presents.

I am so grateful that she held on for her first birthday but her birthday also brings tears. Remembering how miserable she was, so bloated and uncomfortable, spiking temps and just not enjoying the day and then of course the following day she was in ICU..... but also happy memories of all the nurses and staff and friends and family that came in to see her on her birthday...the signed frame that the Nurses gave Rani takes pride of place in my lounge with a picture of all of you on her special day - i still can't thank enough the Nurses on 5W for their support while Rani was in Hospital.

but it also means that in one week it will be her 2nd anniversary and that sucks!

So birthday kisses up to heaven my baby girl...mwah XXXX

Friday, August 01, 2008

Alright, alright an

Well there is not really a lot to update.

I decided that I was spending way to much time on the computer so decided to step away. I haven't been on any forums, etc for months and have been enjoying my time catching up with friends and family and spending time with my growing way to fast little one Kai.

Can you believe that he is already 4 months old - it has just flown - way to quickly for my liking. So I had his 4 month check up a couple of weeks ago and he is a hefty 7.7kg - I love it when people tell me he is a big is such a complete contrast to Rani, she was only 5.5kg at 8 months old. So I am loving watching my healthy and happy boy and trying to enjoy every stage of his development as we missed so much with Rani being sick. He is a bit miserable at the moment as he is teething but doing what Josh did, the tooth pushes and pushes and gives him grief for a couple of days and then it goes back down again...but I think sometime soon it will push through so we are going through a lot of bonjella at the moment.

I have photos of him on my camera, but I am charging the battery so will upload later.

Josh and Teagan are also doing well, enjoying had 3 way conference this week for the parent teacher interviews, it was a bit different...basically the kiddies sat with their teacher and went through different work in their portfolios and had to tell me what they need to work on etc. and then they left and we got to talk one on one with the teacher. It was interesting and I guess it helped Josh and Teagan to see what they need work on. Both of them struggle in Maths - so we are looking at getting them a tutor to help with that - but we were pleased with their reports as they have both improved from last year. They have been doing lots of practising for the school production of High School Musical that is at the end of the month - it is mainly the Grade 6's - Josh is a bit disappointed that he didn't get a talking part but he will be on stage lots so we will be able to see him. As it is a Grade 6 production the other years just come on and do a song and leave so this year it will be great to see josh pretty much the whole time rather that for 5 minutes each.

What else...I got to catch up with my cousin and her little man - so cute and so little and light compared to my big he was only 2 months old.

John went and got another tattoo...another one for Rani this time a portrait - I must admit that when he first got it done I didn't like it as I felt it didn't look like her - just little things were wrong - but as it has settled I am liking it more.

So I can't believe that it is August already - I really hate August now and September even more. How can it be in one month the 2 nd Anniversary of Rani's passing. Plus my little Angel will be turning 3 in August - how I wish she was here everyday. So I guess I will be quiet again. Whoever said 'the pain heals with time" is a liar - I feel the same pain I did 2 years ago and just hate the anniversary as it make you replay those last weeks - again asking those 'what if' questions that I have asked a million time and will never get an answer to.

Also sending the biggest hugs to Connie...