Thursday, September 14, 2006

More Sadness

Well what a fortnight of deaths there have been. Way to many for my liking.

On Tuesday we found out that Teagan's School Teacher lost her battle with Cancer. She left the school for treatment not long after is very sad. Her funeral is on Friday, but we are not going, still to raw from Rani's.

On some lighter brighter news we are going to watch little Rose run in the Transplant Games during the school holidays. We were very touched when her family told us that she would be running for both her organ donor and Rani. I am sure it will be a very emotional day seeing all those children running around thanks to the generous gift of another and we will be wishing that Rani could be there too.

Well I can't believe that tomorrow the kiddies will be on School Holidays. They have a couple of things planned, like the traditional trip to the movies with Nana and we will also be taking them to the Royal Melbourne Show. I am sure they will also be taken to the movies by

I, as is everyone, is hating night time. It is easy to stay distracted during the day but when you lie down to sleep memories and thoughts and questions and anger and everything else come flooding into your brain. No one in this household is sleeping very much at all. We are all pretty much at the angry stage of grieving, feeling very robbed of our precious little girl.

But I must say that it is great to be living with Mum and Dad to be able to talk things through with people that have been there every step of the way and understand exactly what you are feeling is definitely helping us all greatly.

Thanks to everyone for your support, concerned and thoughtful emails and SMS, cards and everything it has been wonderful.

My sister who was absolutely devastated about Rani and in London is coming out in December. She was so upset that she couldn't be here for the Funeral. But we are having a special service when she comes home for her visit. We will be placing Rani's ashes and plaque in the Crematorium. She is very happy that we are waiting to do this until she arrives as it will be her (and our) special time to say good bye.


Lynne said...

What a great thing that you can articulate all these thoughts and experiences through your blog. I'm not surprised to read that you're all finding the nights so very tough. My heart breaks for you. I cannot imagine your pain, and how you must long for Rani. I'm relieved that you're all bunking together at this terrible time, and can understand what a good thing is all the close support there for each other.

I so wish that Rani could be at those Games too. All of this current media coverage of transplants, whilst crucial, must be a very bitter pill for your family to swallow right now. Don't feel locked in to coming along to these Games, by the way. Please just take it as it comes, depending on how you all feel on the day. Rose will be running for Rani, no matter who's watching!

Take care, all of you.


parkyslot said...

Oh Mel

I am still in awe of your whole experience, you must be very angry and very shattered by the loss of the gorgeous Princess Rani.

Night time will be the worst as your mind wanders if you cant sleep and thats when it catches you up.

Warm drink and special thoughts turning negative into a positive if thats at all possible. Rani gave to all of us so much especially your family. Remember the great times and the special memories at those tough times.
She will be watching you from above not wanting you to worry.

I hope you got my card too.
Love to you and your family as always
Lynn (Parky) and family

halloweenlover said...

I'm so very sorry. Many prayers being said for you and your family.

mom2threeboys said...


I have been thinking of, and praying for, you guys alot. I am so sorry for your loss. Angel Rani is running around with all of our liver angels right now, playing and having fun, doing all the things she couldn't do before. Please know that everyone at is thinking of you.


Robyn said...

I am so glad the holidays are coming for you as you can get lots more cuddles in!
What a wonderful idea to have your sister with you for this last step..I am sure it will make it so much more special.
Just wanted you to know that we lit a candle in class and the children and I all sent positive thoughts for you all.

Susan C said...

Holidays will help. Being busy and having lots of time together to create some new memories will help. Prayers and thoughts always.

Rachael said...

School holiday time is always fun and busy.

I am so glad you are with your mum and dad at the moment, what a great support network you all have in each other. Whenever you need a vent - one of us will be here if you need us.

I continue to think of you all constantly. Sending all our love


Jenelle said...


Am glad to hear that you are still going to be bunking with your parents. You've got a great family support network, and its also probably good for Josh & Teagan too.

I am sure you'll be thinking of Rani on the transplant games day. She'll be running around up there, and yelling out Mum I came first! I'm sure she's resting up there, gearing up for the transplant games. Good luck to little Rose.

I am sure your sister was devastated, but at least you'll be able to do her goodbyes. What a great idea thou.


Jenny said...


I can't really say anything more than what the girls have already said. Little Rani is sitting up there, on Gods lap, with the prettiest smile asking Him to help you through. Know that she is safe, now, and beside you all the time.

When you can't sleep at night, would it help for you to sit with pen and paper and scribble all the thoughts that come into your mind. I found it helps me sometimes. Even cuddle her little Urn. Rani is never out of my mind and you aren't either. Your precious little bundle has snuck into my heart for good. Bet she's like that !!??

May I make a suggestion for the kids when they are on holidays? Could they make a special little concrete plaque for Rani using a pizza box, cement and they decorate it just for Rani and you keep it for a special place in the garden? Just might help them a little.............

Much love for everyone. I am so pleased your sister can come home at Christmas...........


Chris Millar said...

Hi Mel, I'm so glad that your parents are there to help discuss it all with you guys. You are in our thoughts constantly.

lisa :) said...

As everyone has said, I am so glad that you are with your parents and that you're able to talk to them about everything sweetie.
I am here if you want to scream at me!
Bring on the holidays so you can spend time with the kidlets :) I bet you need their cuddles!

Taks car of yourselves, Love always Lisa xx

Treezah said...

Not much left for me to say, except i agree with everyone's comments. The idea of the children making a plaque is a great one!!..
It wont be long and your sister will be here, enjoy your time with her.
Thinking of you all xx

lusi said...

Hi mel,
I'm sorry to hear of more loss so close to home for you guys. My thoughts and prayers are with your teacher's family and yours of course.
It's so nice that you guys will have a special ceremony for Rani at home when she arrives.
I've prayed for you this week when I've been up in the night time.
Take care,
Lusi x

Bev said...

Being with your parents is just what you need right now. I am happy you will be having a special ceremony when your sister is home