I am feeling so many different emotions today. Today is the day the 'normal life' resumes again! Kids go back to school, grown ups go back to work and I am left at home with my thoughts.
I am miserable but so angry.
Angry that this disease took our babies life.
Angry that she spent half her life in Hospital.
Angry at the people that said NO to life saving organ donation.
Angry at the system for Classification for Transplants.
Angry that she missed out on livers, by no other fault than the wrong blood type.
Angry that Rani became sick enough to be a CAT 1 but was then to sick to be transplanted.
Angry that more people don't donate.
Angry that she was in so much pain.
Angry that she was stuck in a cot and never leaving her room unless she was in ICU.
Angry that she spent her last 5 months confined in that room.
Angry that she never got to speak, crawl, walk, LIVE!
Angry that she is gone.
Angry that we did everything the Hospital asked and still we didn't get to take our baby girl home.
ANGRY that she never got that life saving liver.
We don't blame the Doctors, Staff or the Hospital. They can't transplant what they don't have. We are just very frustrated and disappointed. We feel very naive that we thought a simple liver was the answer and we would be home with a happy healthy baby. That having Rani in the Hospital was the best place for her and that she had a better chance of getting a liver being a in-patient rather than at home.
We will have 'what if' questions for the rest of our lives.
BUT i do believe that ALL AUSTRALIANS well everyone needs to be educated on the importance of Organ Donation but even more importantly you need to discuss your choice with your family, friends, loved ones as at the end of the day they are the ones that have to make the heart breaking decision.
PLEASE DON'T LET ANOTHER FAMILY GO THROUGH WHAT WE HAVE. Discuss Organ Donation.