Last Day

of September and I am not sad to see this month end.

September used to be a happy month, Father's Day and John's birthday and now it is the worst month of the year.

Not just because we lost Rani in September but September 2005 was when our nightmare roller coaster started. It was the first time I ever heard the words 'Biliary Atresia' and believe me I wish I had never heard them. It was the begining of endless blood tests, poking, probing of our little tiny baby. It was when we were referred to RCH for 8 hours of testing on our now almost 1 month old baby. It was also the month that Biliary Atresia was confirmed and we were told about the biopsy, Kasai and one day down the track a liver transplant.

October isn't much better as that is when Rani first stayed in the Hospital first 10 Oct 2005 for 4 days for her Liver Biopsy then 18th October for 10 days for the Kasai.

But September is just horrible as it was the beginning and end of the nightmare that we lived for a year.

More Scrapping

Well perhaps being pregnant has given me back the scrapping bug, but I have scrapped more in the last couple of days than for months.

Well we are halfway through the first week of the school holidays and the weather looks like it is turning...grrr...it has been dark and gloomy all day with little bits of rain on and off, makes it hard to send the kids out to play. So today we went for a drive to see what was happening in our estate and then to a couple of furniture stores to have a look for a new bedroom set for Josh and a lounge suite for the new lounge...the only way I can get Josh to look is by looking for him as well....lol

Well here are 2 Lo's that I have done.

This one is for a Challenge at Bon's - New Daddies
I searched and searched and finally found this photo of John and Josh a couple of hours after he was born - there were no digital cameras back then..lol...I can't believe that the photo is nearly 11 years old.


This one is for a Challenge at 123 Scrapbooks - That's My Man
A rare photo of John and I

Sharing

Well it has been a while since I have shared some LO's...it feels like ages since I last scrapped, so here are a couple of LO's that I have done using some old packs I found and also my M I have altered only have the other 6 letters of my name to go....lol

TFL

Me and Teagan, self portrait, got to love the double chin action....lol




Teagan - she didn't want her photo taken, but it is one of my favourite shots of her



The first of many QLD LO's....they are actually upside in the photo, but Dreamworld printed it up the right way



and finally my letter M

A Lovely Night

Firstly thank you for all the lovely comments and emails we have got about this pregnancy, they have all been lovely. Also thanks to Teagan's teacher and Miss K who bought me a beautiful bunch of flowers for Teagan to bring home from School on Friday when they found out I was pregnant...I was truly shocked and touched by your thought.

We decided not to tell the kids until I had had my 12 week scan, as we told them early with Rani and they couldn't keep their mouths shut....lol...it was very cute...I was sitting next to John and called the kids in and showed them the Ultrasound images and asked them what they thought it was. Both of them chimed "rani" as that was the last images they saw...I said 'no' and winked at Josh and saw that he had worked it out and he ran to John giving him a big hug with tears of joy strolling down his face, it took Teagan a little longer and then the penny dropped. With big eyes she looked and my tummy and said 'is that in you'. They were both so excited touching my belly, talking to my belly and the funny thing that after all the dramas we have been through with Rani I asked them both what they wanted and they said they didn't care as long as this one didn't have to go to the Hospital....

OK on to our night. Well as it was John's big 4-0 birthday last week I decided to splurge on his birthday present and booked us a night in the Crown Promenade last night - the plan was we could spend some time together, get some dinner and I would go to the room and sleep (10.30 is my bed time now...lol) and John could go to the Casino and play Poker, as he loves it.

So we checked into our room at about 2.30, went for a walk around the Casino and Southbank, window shopping and trying to find somewhere to have dinner. Came back to the room and decided to have dinner in the Hotels Restaurant - YUMMY!!! - then went back to the Casino and had a New Zealand Ice Cream for dessert - a yummy ice cream cone...I was full and tired, so John walked me back to the room, got his stuff ready for Poker and headed off.

I took some pics of our room and our view - although we were only on the 7th floor, wish we were higher, but my camera battery has gone flat so will add photos later.

View from the room....and our room

Josh and Teagan love it when we go away for the night, as Nana and Grandpa take them up to Maccas and they eat in and play on the equipment and of course Nana always has lollies....lol

What a Suprise!

Let me give you the short story...

John and I made the hard decision to try for the 4th child I had discussed while Rani was in Hospital (when we thought it was a short stay and that she would be coming home soon!). As it took so long to fall in pregnant with Rani (5 years) we knew that I probably had a problem. I went back to my Gyno/Ob and told him that we wanted to try again and he thought I had PCO - which was confirmed via ultrasound.

I was to be monitored every month with a blood test to see if I ovulated...5 months - 5 fails (no ovulation = no chance to get pregnant) which was becoming very depressing...so IVF was mentioned as the best way for us to have another baby. Both John and I had decided that we weren't going to go down the IVF road, as we already have 2 beautiful children.

So after leaving my Gyno with the disappointing news of another fail I had told him that I was going to take the next month of monitoring etc as we were going to QLD and I wanted to enjoy myself and not stress about dates ect.

Well don't ask me why sucker for punishment or womans intuition I bought a pregnancy test while I was shopping at Coles. I left it until the afternoon and thought what the hell....I have done many of these and was used to seeing one line. So you can imagine my shock and disbelief when there was 2 lines staring back at me.... I was in shock, thought maybe I was making more out of it so took a pic on my mobile and SMS'ed it to John, he saw the 2 lines as well....lol

I rang my Gyno/Ob straight away (shaking the whole time)...the receptionist told me to go to my GP and get confirmation and a new referal...I was suprised when later that night my OB called me to say Congrats.

So there you go...we left for QLD the next day with a baby on board....lol

It has been a pretty uneventful pregnancy - no morning sickness..I'm really not feeling pregnant at all - which annoys my friends that are pregnant and suffering...lol

So I am 13 weeks pregnant and bub is due 25th March 2008....we are cautiously excited about this pregnancy and very scared at the same time with all the things that can go wrong...so we are just hoping for a happy and healthy baby in March. The only sad part is that I had to pull out of my Best Friends wedding as I will be eight months pregnant...but she was over the moon for us when we told her.

So here is a pic of our bub from our Ultrasound today

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to my Sweet Husband who turns 40 today.

Last night we went out to the Coach and Horse for dinner with about 40 friends, it was a lovely night, they have a huge play ground so no one saw the kids except for dinner and when it was time to go home. The night went way to fast and it was difficult to try and catch up with everyone as we were spread n 3 tables, but I hope everyone had a good night. I know that we did.

So today is a nice relaxing day, with a cake tonight.

Thank You

for your lovely comments, emails, SMS's and pink candles that we saw on Blogs in memory of our little angel, it really is appreciated.

Well Saturday was quite a busy day, we wanted to keep a normal as possible routine for the kids - so the went to WuShoo - karate - in the morning, then we went out to see Rani and then they had a birthday party to go to.

On Saturday night my whole family all went to the Coach and Horse for dinner. It is great as we can sit and chat and there is a huge playground so the kids can play and not be bored. We had a few drinks for Rani and a lovely dinner and check out Josh and Teagan - they had free face painting in the playground.











Fathers Day was a pretty quiet day, kind of highlights that we don't have one of our children to give Daddy a kiss. Josh and Teagan came down and gave John their presents and then we went upstairs and gave Dad his present, went for a drive, did a bit of shopping and the day was over.

Tuesday was Mark's Funeral - John went by himself as it was late in the afternoon and I couldn't get back in time to get the kids. :(

Then that night everyone came to Mum and Dad's for a BBQ (kind of late Fathers Day) as some people had to work. Heaps of food we were so full, lots of laughs and just general chit chat.

Here is Dad with Josh and Teagan (can you tell that my dad hates having his photo taken...lol) cooking the BBQ with his BBQ apron that my brother got him for Fathers Day.

Today

a year ago was the beginning of the worst day of our life...an end to the worst week of our lives.

I am still in shock that it has been a year since Rani passed away, it doesn't feel that long, maybe because today the pain feels the same as it did when she left us forever.

I still have so much anger over the whole situation and still believe that the system for liver donation (well organ donation) needs to be looked into...for the only time that Rani was able to get a liver nationwide was when she was in ICU and the catch to that situation she was way to sick to get one. In my opinion if you are too sick to go home (especially like Rani who spent 5 months in Hospital waiting for a liver) you should be nation wide. Perhaps then I would be typing something happy, like it has been a year since Rani got her new liver and is doing fantastic...how I wish.


Thank you everyone for your emails, SMS's, coments here and cards they truly are appreciated.

It is today (well most days) that we try and remember the good times that we had with Rani. We want to thank friends and family for their support through this all and also the staff at The Royal Childrens Hospital especially the Nurses on 5W who became like our family and will always have a special place in our hearts, as will Rani's dedicated team from the Gastro Dept.


Edited: Sadly our friend Mark lost his 13 month battle with cancer this morning. Our thoughts are with his family. He will be missed.