Thursday, February 01, 2007

5 months

Well today is 5 months since the worst day of my life!!!

I am in a funny mood feeling somewhat distant to people, but wanting company....but not really contacting anyone but then again not being contacted by many either...i guess that makes no sense...told you i was in a funny mood...

The other night we found out a family member is seems that lots of people we know are pregnant atm...and believe me I am happy for every single one of them and wish them a happy healthy baby...but then that envy twinge hits me, then the angry one...the one that just wants the last years events erased and me to be home playing with my daughter...why can't I just pinch myself and wake up from this nightmare...

On a happy note my brother rang me this morning and asked me to search the internet for a Fun Run that the money was going to the Royal Childrens Hospital - as he put it "I'll run for the kid, even though I hate running"

I searched and found what he was looking for and saw that there were 2 runs a 3.4km run and a 15.2km run...thinking he would do the 3.4km I rang him with the details and he is doing the 15.2km run in honor of Rani, which i think is just amazing of him.

Here are the details - Run for the Kids
We will get more details in the mail next week - so we are trying to work out how to sponser him!

Well I may not Blog for a little while - i am taking a step back and re-assessing a few things, doing a bit of soul searching and trying to make up for lost time with Josh and Teagan as I feel guilty for the way they were hand balled around while Rani was in we have some other things on our plates that are taking up a lot of our chat sometime later :)

although if you want to send me an email I will be checking that from time to time - just cutting back the amount of time I spend sitting here.


Chrissy said...

Heya sweetie, ending my usual hugs for no other reason than you sound like you could do with a couple right now. I'm only a phone call away love.

Love Chrissy xx

Alisha73 said...

Mel you sound like a very lost soul atm with emotions that have decided to play the scramble game where u have to unscramble them to figger it out..its damn hard to play with emotions though :-( I know I've tried.

You've got very special kids in Josh and Teagan..they are wonderful to go through it all with you guys and still manage to be kids and play and have fun. Go spend some time with them and cheer up..they still love you very very much.

I read here sorry if i don't post everytime..I didnt want to babble useless I thought i would write today to say Im still here listening and I will write more often to say I am an ear to yell in or talk to whenever you need it.


cass said...

hey Mel

take care of you sweetie, i don't know how you do it, you are such a brave girl

i think of you almost every day, stay strong, laugh and cry and do what you have to do


Shelley said...

Oh Mel,

Sending you loads of {HUGS} I hope you are feeling better soon!

Take Care,
Shelley Turner.
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