HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to my girl TEAGAN

I can't believe that my little girl is 9 years old today..the time has gone so quickly.
My Birthday Girl having the Yummy Freddo Ice Cream Cake.

Bits and Bobs

Well here is a pic of our land. Thank youeveryone for your well wishes. I am starting to get excited about it all now. Today we went out to the builders display showroom and picked our colours for the walls and outside, bricks, roof tiles, stone bench top, glass splash back...the list goes on and on..it was so much easier having it all in one place and being that this is the 3rd house we are building we kind of know exactly what we are after and makes the decision alot easier...now all that is left is carpet and floor tiles...lol

Well this is our big of land. I have used Josh, Teagan, John and the car as the markers for the post. I don't know why the pic makes the block look wonky as it is a perfect rectangle!


A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER STEVEN...well it was on Friday...he broke his diet for his training for the run for some Freddo Ice Ceam Cake!

Also sadly Scrap Yourself Silly is closing down...I have thoroughly enjoyed my time as a Member of their CT Team. :(

Well Mum seems to be getting better with her broken leg and crutches...she is not driving me insane to much yet...lol..but everything must be done her way...lol..thankfully family and friends have been dropping in to relieve her boredom, as she is going stir crazy sitting on the couch with her leg raised. Next week she gets her proper cast put on and should be able to move around more...I hope!!!

Oh yeah...did anyone see Australia's Got Talent a couple of weeks ago...the one with the guy that put his whole body through the tennis racquet...well that is John's cousin Al..amazing but freaky at the same time...you can see more here.

Well that is about it around here...thanks for popping in and leaving messages I really do appreciate it :)

Our Big News!!!!

On Monday we.....





















finally bought a piece of land...we have had some dramas and got mucked around on a different block but after searching around we found another Estate that I finally liked and Monday (yesterday) we signed the doco's and put in an offer and the Vendor accepted it today....I am pretty happy...it is a brand new estate, no houses have even started yet, so hopefully lots of families with kiddies Josh and Teagan's ages...plus it is only 15 minutes down the road from the kiddies Primary School, so they can finish School there.

We have chosen a lovely house and thanks to Connie ;) were put onto the builders we picked...lol...we had our hearts set on another house but that was the house that we picked with Rani and the design that we put on hold while Rani was admitted back in April until she came home, so it just didn't feel right anymore, even though we had planned this house for nearly 2 years...but we all love the house design that we are getting built and it will be exciting to have our own house again.

The only down side is that our house won't be started to be built until Aug/Sept, so we won't be moving in until December...poor Mum...lol

Speaking of Mum...what a fun long weekend we had with her...On Friday she went down to see her Mother and help her with some shopping and as she was walking back to the car she tripped in a pot hole and hurt her ankle. Well what she thought was a sprain, after a trip to emergency turned out to be a broken ankle.

So she was admitted to Hospital on Friday night, operated on Saturday (she broke her ankle on both sides (2 places) so has a plate on one side and pins on the other) and was discharged on Monday afternoon. She has to rest her leg for one week and today being her first full day at home is already going stir crazy...then she is in plaster for 6 weeks and so hopefully in 8 weeks will be fully mobile again...but no driving for 8 weeks is going to make her crazy. I suppose it is good that we are living at home and can do a lot of things for her...but I have a feeling that she is going to be a horrible patient...lol...we will see how I feel about her in a week...lol

Hellloooooooo

Long time no chat...although not a lot has been happening here, so not a lot to share.

John and I did just get back from a night in the City staying at the Stamford Plaza...we went into the Casino for some dinner and gambling...lol...nice to walk out with a win - well John anyway...lol...but the trip was ruined when we got in the car to find out that we had a flat tyre...more annoying was the fact that the Valet had driven the car around the block to us and didn't tell us and that we were in the car for about 10 metres before we realised something was wrong...

Plus of course pretty much all of my spare time is being taken up with Run 4 Rani...the support for this has been amazing and we have had pledges of over $1000 already and Steven isn't running until April 1st...so still time to sponser or grab a raffle ticket :)...just click on the link in the post below...

Been cleaning out my scrapping area...trying to create some sort of storage / access area in my shelves so I can see exactly what I have so I have put a heap of my stuff up for auction...check them out here.

Hopefully once this Run is done and things have settled down a bit I will be back into the swing of things...I haven't even been scrapping!!! and should hopefully have some exciting news to share :)

See Ya!

New Store

OK we have set up a store to save emails back and forth ect and to ease some of the confussion on how to donate to make it easier for those that have emailed us.... :)

It is only new and we are still learning the set up ect, but it is ready to take orders...so we have set it up with Raffle Tickets and Sponsership..

Visit Run4Rani Store

Thanks everyone for your support and those that have sponsered and bought Raffle Tickets

What a Day!!!

I have had a fabulous day today...

Firstly I spent the day scrapping with a girlfriend...although I only did one page...lol...but I am happy with the way it turned out and amazingly I am in the photo...



Then one of my best friends (actually in the photo above) came over tonight and asked me to be one of her bridesmaids in her wedding next year...I am so excited to be part of her wedding...

So top that off with John and I going away and I will have had a pretty fabulous week...

Don't forget to check out my other blog Run 4 Rani .... Steven is training pretty hard for his big run...bike riding tonight, running tomorrow night and then a combination of running, biking and swimming everyday until the race. I am so proud of the effort he is putting into this - as he said "Rani fought hard through the hard times, so he is going to work hard to do the run".

New Blog

Hi Guys...

I have set up a blog for sponsership for my brothers run for Rani...

Check it out

Run 4 Rani

STAY TUNED....

for more information...

as I said a couple of posts ago my brother is running 15.2km run on April 1st in Rani's honour and we are trying to get sponsers for him to raise money for the Hospital...all the money we raise will go in Rani's name and go to the Liver Dept for research into her disease to try and prevent this from happening to other families...

if you are interested in sponsering him, you can send me an email...

but what this space more info to come...hopefully soon...

Not being rude!!!

I have got my computer back from it being updated (Thanks Trev :) love my new fast puter) but unfortunately i have lost all my emails and contacts addresses etc....(I am sure there is probably a way to find them, but I haven't worked it out...lol...or am I just to lazy to write everyones emails again..hehe) so if you have emailed me recently I am not being rude I just don't have your email or your address to email you....so if you have time can you please pop an email to me, so i can have your addy again.

Thanks

5 months

Well today is 5 months since the worst day of my life!!!

I am in a funny mood feeling somewhat distant to people, but wanting company....but not really contacting anyone but then again not being contacted by many either...i guess that makes no sense...told you i was in a funny mood...

The other night we found out a family member is pregnant..it seems that lots of people we know are pregnant atm...and believe me I am happy for every single one of them and wish them a happy healthy baby...but then that envy twinge hits me, then the angry one...the one that just wants the last years events erased and me to be home playing with my daughter...why can't I just pinch myself and wake up from this nightmare...

On a happy note my brother rang me this morning and asked me to search the internet for a Fun Run that the money was going to the Royal Childrens Hospital - as he put it "I'll run for the kid, even though I hate running"

I searched and found what he was looking for and saw that there were 2 runs a 3.4km run and a 15.2km run...thinking he would do the 3.4km I rang him with the details and he is doing the 15.2km run in honor of Rani, which i think is just amazing of him.

Here are the details - Run for the Kids
We will get more details in the mail next week - so we are trying to work out how to sponser him!

Well I may not Blog for a little while - i am taking a step back and re-assessing a few things, doing a bit of soul searching and trying to make up for lost time with Josh and Teagan as I feel guilty for the way they were hand balled around while Rani was in Hospital...plus we have some other things on our plates that are taking up a lot of our time...so chat sometime later :)

although if you want to send me an email I will be checking that from time to time - just cutting back the amount of time I spend sitting here.

Back to School!!!!

Peace and quiet today...the house is so quiet already...lol

Josh and Teagan quite happily headed off to school this morning excited to be seeing their friends again.

Josh is in Grade 5 this year and Teagan is in Grade 4. I can't believe that next year will be Josh's last year of Primary School...the time is going way to fast!!

An Update

Well it has been a while since I have blogged!!!

Lets see from my last post we have been to Sally and Kevin's Engagement Party, it was a great night of catching up with friends and their families. It was a shame about the weather as it rained off and on, so was majorly muggy...but everyone had a great time, especially the kids who were loving jumping in puddles and in the mud...I know my 2 came home filthy....lol

Then we have just got back from a little trip away. Our first little holiday in a year. It was kind of bittersweet as this time last year was our last holiday and we took Rani on her one and only holiday. It was nice to spend time - just the 4 of us and have John awake during the day!... We headed up to Ballarat for a couple of day and just had a nice relaxing trip, kicking back in the heated and enclosed swimming pool at the Motel - thank goodness it was enclosed as it was cold! We were in walking distance to Soveriegn Hill so we spent a day there and ate and ate...lol...I don't think I need to eat for a month. But all in all it was lovely to spend time as a family having lots of laughs.

Well the monsters are back at school on Wednesday - so today they had their hair cut and got new school shoes and tomorrow Nana is taking them to the movies while I get to label all their books. They are both excited about going back to School and seeing their friends - and just quietly I am happy for them to go....lol

silly things :)

Ok check this out...

Chinese Lunar Calender

This started with a conversation with a girlfriend who knew she was having a girl but joked that she used the chart to make sure she got a girl after having 2 boys...of course she later told me that she found it after she was pregnant but looked up all her dates and they matched her kiddies...so we checked out mine and all 3 of mine matched...

just for fun check it out and let me know if yours match as well.....

Slow Week!!!

This week has dragged on so long that it is only Wednesday night and I feel like it should be Friday.

Perhaps it is the hot weather and that I am like a sloth on the couch and not moving...or the almost 20 hours I seem to be awake during the day no matter how much I try to sleep...but this has been the slowest week.

At least the next couple of day I will be moving so they may faster...lol....Got to go out tomorrow and buy an engagement present for Sal and Kevs Engagement Party on Saturday night..if I was smart I would have done it while I had a kiddie free afternoon on Tuesday when Mum took Josh and Teagan to see Happy Feet...oh well.

On Friday Josh and Teagan are going for a play and stay at friends that have got back from overseas...they have 2 children about the same ages of Josh and Teagan - one of them is in Josh's class and their help was amazing while Rani was in Hospital taking the kids at a seconds notice and keeping them for days, it was a great relief to know the kids were safe and happy - they love having sleep overs there...although Teagan was a bit scared the first time after Rani passed away as she was scared that something bad was going to happen...but once we guaranteed her it was a fun sleep over she was happy...

Then next weekend we are off to Ballarat for 2 nights of fun and relaxation as a family...i am really looking forward to going..it will be so nice just to get away for a couple of days...then before you know it the kids will be back at school again.

Also have started the dreaded "d' word...DIET...lol well not really a diet, more just trying to get fitter as I still weigh the same as I did when I had Rani. So I have been walking for at least 20 minutes a day on my treadmill...but learnt a valuable lesson...lol..my body was craving chocolate so I gave in and had a chocolate bar then about 20 minutes later went on a power walk on the treadmill and felt so sick all night...so i won't be giving into urges..or if i do I will make it up later...lol

I am so JEALOUS reading blogs of everyone that is off to Kiwi Scraps...so wish I was going as well...hopefully the next one...

Stupid Computers

I think my computer is getting ready to go bye byes (as the lids say...lol)...it is making horrible noises, being really slow and not letting me comment on peoples blogs....and I am missing emails but I am guessing that is probably our server...grrr...so if I haven't replied to an email I may not have got it!

So yesterday I spent most of the day saving my photos and treasure things from this computer on to an external hard drive....I feel so much better having done it now and I am going to hope on Johns computer and burn everything onto DVD as well just to be on the safe side...I have nightmares about losing pics...especially of my precious Rani...i am even to scared to delete them of the memory card in my cameras. So I guess I will have to start looking for a new puter soon...they just don't last long enough anymore...it is only 5 years old...

Well yesterday Mum went and picked up our family photos we had done at Christmas time...I am happy with most of them except for the all in photo as it is a very dark background and with us having dark hair we just kind of blend into the background...but once it is framed I am sure we won't notice it....this is my favourite photo.

and this is cute as well :)


Well nothing else exciting to share....

I actually....

slept next to my husband last night...lol..he got called in early to work and so he was home at 11.30pm...rather than getting ready to walk out the door. It was funny to start with as usually I lay right on the edge of my side of the bed...but with the last couple of months having the bed all to myself I have been spreading right across the bed and last night I had to share...lol....and to make matters worse it was the worst night sleep I have had in months...as John was way over tired as soon as his head hit the pillow he was snoring and LOUD....so I went out and watched TV until 3am when I finally started to feel tired again and thankfully he stopped snoring long enough for me to fall asleep...but then he got up at 7am and I slept soundly all by myself in our big bed until I was woken up for lunch...lol...so I guess when he stops working nights it will take alot of adjusting to get used to having 2 people in bed again...lol

OK thought I would share...not really that exciting but John and I thought it was funny...lol

Thank You

everyone for your comments on my last post...it was great to vent it out and I actually feel somewhat better today...perhaps it is because we booked our weekend away and in a couple of weeks we will have 3 days of just family time..I can't wait.

Well I even scrapped today...not majorly happy with the final outcome...you know how it is when you picture it in your head and then when it goes onto the paper it doesn't work...but hey i will play with embellishments tomorrow...i am just happy I scrapped.


Thank you again my friends for your invaluable support :)

I need sleep!!!!

Just for you Sal, an update...lol..although it is not a happy one.

I feel myself slipping further and further into some kind of a depression. I hardly talk, sleep, do anything really...although get me with friends and I have a good time...it is getting there. With John working 7 days a week and night shifts...I am pretty much alone day and night as he sleeps days and we cross each others paths as I am attempting to go to bed and sleep and he is leaving for work. I just want my baby girl home with me...perhaps i am truly grieving now...although the anger and resentment over a system that doesn't work is still well and truly there....perhaps it is because I sat down and wrote a letter about my frustration of the donor rules, regulations explaining my disappointment in the system...I mean it seriously has to change...how many others families have to go through what we have before it changes...we all live in Australia so in my opinion if a child/adult is to sick to go home they should automatically be placed Australia Wide for donation...not just the state you live in. I get so angry when I see the amount of livers that were transplanted in the months that Rani was waiting and that is just in Victoria...my blood boils when you see the total for australia...I am sure one of them would have been perfect for Rani but not with the stupid out of date rules....well I guess my anger hasn't gone!!!

Well what else...

my sister is back in London..her trip was way to short but she may be coming home in September for a Wedding....

i guess I am also stressed by the fact that we are looking into the whole buying another house thing...initially we were going to build again...but we would have to go out to Berwick (although it would have been fun to go through it with you Connie :) )...and no offence to Berwick I just don't want to live there....I love the school the kids are at (and I don't want to uproot them, I think they had a stressful enough year last year, without a huge move this year), my friends are here and it adds way to much travel time onto Johns drives...plus to me it is going backwards as when we sold our last house it was in the suburb before Berwick....lol....so instead we are now looking at buying a smaller house and just getting on our feet and then either building or buying a bigger house in a couple of years...the biggest problem is the price of land in this area is so expensive as it is so rare!!!...now just waiting to find out exactly what we can borrow and the searching will seriously start....

also I really want to scrap...but when i hop on the puter to get photos...or go through my existing pile I see pics of Rani and just get upset...i still can not scrap her and my mood doesn't make scrapping fun...so i am just not doing it

add that to other stresses in my life and I guess even I can understand why I am sinking...

so I am trying to see some positives...

We are looking forward to Sal and Kevs engagement party next weekend and then over the Australia Day Weekend we are going away so it will be nice to spend some time as a family as we haven't done it in a long time...

Well if you got this far you are a legend and I hope my ramblings made sense and I have a feeling my brain was going quicker than my fingers....

but finally I just want to say that I have certainly found out who my true friends are over this roller coaster last year and it has been suprising...i have the few that have been true for years and years and then others that I thought were close friends disappear out of my life and others that I thought I wasn't that close to become some of my closest friends....so thank you all for you support and valuable friendship...you know who you are :)

So its the New Year

and I am not saying anything for this year....as i think I cursed myself by saying 2006 was going to be my year, everything was going to go my way....well...that certainly didn't pan out the way I had hoped...so nothing is being said this year...i don't need another 2006.

We had a lovely New Years we spent it at my friends new house and I got to spend New Years with 2 of my best friends from High school. It was so relaxing we sat out the back and had a few drinks not to many as I had to drive home) a bbq dinner and I didn't see josh and teagan until it was time to go home. it was fantastic, there were other kiddies there around there age and although they had never met before they all got along so well together and played all night. But naughty me took my camera and didn't take one photo.

I am a bit sad as my sisters trip is almost over...we had a BBQ dinner tonight as she wanted one before she went back home and then tomorrow night she is on the plane and heading back to cold London.

We also had some family photos taken on Saturday as part of Mum and Dads Christmas Present...we thought we would take advantage of having Danielle home...it has also been 23 years since we have had any professional photos taken of the 6 of us. Plus we also got some of my family......so now Mum has heaps of pics of us.

We ended up getting as our freebie one of Mums 4 kids together...one of Mum and Dad... one of the 6 of us...and one with 4 individual photos on the same sheet of each of my siblings...and one of Nana and Grandpa with Josh and Teagan and one with all 9 of us together then for me we got one of John and I, one of Josh and Teagan, one of the 4 of us...so I will have a more up to date family photo.

We have decided to try and keep it more up to date perhaps getting more shots when the rest of my sisters and brother get married and start having their own little ones.

I went out to Lilydale again today to say Hello to my girl and clear all the dead roses from her plaque. It is still not real and I don't feel that she is there when I go out there...even though I know it is where her ashes lay. I do believe that she is in my heart and not out there...so i will go to Lilydale every now and then but if I want to talk to her I will just do so...as i know that she can hear me from where ever I am as she is with me always.

Well not much else happening..John didn't get any time off over and is working 7 days a week at the moment...so it is making it hard with the holidays...so we are trying to plan a weekend trip away just so the kids can say they went somewhere over the holidays...lol

Sad Day!!!!

Today was the day that we put Rani's ashes into the ground...our final good bye...

We went down to Lilydale at4.45pm and picked up rani's ashes from the office then met mum, Dad, my 2 sisters and brother at Rani's plaque.

The people at llydale had lready dug a hole in front of her plaque, so we said our goodbyes and Teagan placed rani into the hole and we all placed some dirt in and then put the grass back on top. Then early in the day Mum had got some roses and gave us two each to place in the vases. I also placed a buddah above her plaque to watch over her.

It was kind of sad, but to me she lives on in my heart and not at Lilydale, if that make sense.

Then we all went out to dinner and some drinks to celebrate Mum's birthday as we were at Teagan's Dancing Concert on the night of her birthday.